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8:36
OH MY GOD. THAT WAS THE COOLEST INTRODUCTION EVER. I literally was laughing for half of the movie.

Shame on you, Hobbits, starting this war! Shame on you! (Michael Moore is squished by an Oliphaunt)

You know, the first time I hosted this show was 13 years ago. Things were so different then... Bush was president, the economy was tanking, and we'd just finished a war in Iraq. Isn't that amazing?

8:40
Billy just finished singing. why is he singing again? Get on with it, man?

OK, i can cope with the song about LOTR... hehehe...

Gah, he's singing about every nominee for best picture, isn't he......

8:48
It's about time. Catherine Zeta-Jones is the first presenter. (OMG, i love british accents)
Best supporting actor: Tim Robbins- Mystic River

(Thinking during commercials- result of a commercial for HP featuring Fender guitars- I was inspired this weekend by my guildies in EQ to get out my guitar and practice. My fingers hurt.)

8:57
The academy let me come and go the last couple of years- it's kind of like the Texas National Guard.

If you hear someone thanking the little people, they're probably talking about Hobbits.

Mmm... Ian McClellan... Wizardy goodness. "Peter Jackson makes you believe in Middle Earth by taking you there."
*eyes tear up* I love this part... "You bow to no one."

8:59
Why does Angelina Jolie get "Wild Thing" played as she enters?
Art Direction: LOTR (The Havens are so pretty!... When does this movie come out on DVD?) Hey... Is Peter Jackson wearing a pin that looks like the Eye? Hm...

9:03
hehehe... Billy Crystal was dubbed in by Robin Williams :)
Animated Feature: (Hey, did anyone even go to see Brother Bear? Hm... I wanna see this "belleville thing") Finding Nemo (Was there any question about it?) Woohoo! Steve Jobs got a shout-out!

I am gonna be sick of the Oscar theme music by the end of the night, aren't I.......

9:11
Renee Zellweger just came on to "Roxie"
Costume Design: (I so want Galadriel's gown... Tobey Maguire looks funny on a horse) LOTR (for those who are counting, that's #2) I wanna be that lady who carries out the Oscars when I grow up. :) WTF, Ngila's husband's name is Hamish?

LOL "All of the Hobbit costumes are on sale at the House of DeVito"

9:16
Nick Cage is not a pretty man...
You know, my dad pointed out to me that Elves wouldn't make very good pirates... once they start sailing, they never come back......

I've never heard of Chris Cooper......
Supporting Actress: Renee Zellweger- Cold Mountain. Awww... she looks terrified :) how cute.

9:24
Tom Hanks- wow, what an awful haircut. Now for the Bob Hope feature. Heh, they're playing the Forrest Gump theme...

Commercials. I was amused and amazed. I saw a stretch Hummer today. It had 8 windows down the side. wow. Gah, I was just brushing the cat, and now i'm coverd in cat hair, as is the monitor. ick.

9:31
Ben Stiller and some other guy. Ugh, Starsky and Hutch plugs?
Live Action Short: Two Soldiers
Whatever.

Animated Short: Harvey Krumpet
OK... Sure... Excellent. The winner just thanked his beautiful boyfriend. :)

9:38
Liv Tyler just entered wearing 50s cat-eye glasses.
Allison Krauss and Sting- You will be my one true love- Cold Mountain
Dude.. what the hell is sting playing? that's awesome.
Allison Krauss again with "The Scarlet Tide" from Cold Mountain
I'm not impressed.

9:45
Ok, I just heard LOTR music... Must be time for "Into the West"- Annie Lennox
I'm so gonna cry... And yup, eyes tearing up... so pretty... Oooh, harp... Huh? only one verse? Gyp! Gyp!

Commercial. Going to get the power cord, I think. (I'm sitting downstairs in the back room watching the show) Nah. Too lazy. I have 3 hours of battery... I might make it. I love the Wizard of Oz M&M's commercial. :)

9:55
Billy Crystal is too damn funny.

Heh, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith just entered to "Love and Marriage"... They're such a disgrace to the Hollywood community :)
Daddy! Daddy, I want an Oliphaunt, and I want it NOW. Pirate ghosts are good, too.
Visual Effects: LOTR (#3) How do you Hollywoodify the Fellowship theme even more?

10:00
Blah blah blah... Scientific & Technical Awards... Whatever.

10:02
Jim Carrey. Oh my god, he has no hair!
Tribute to Blake Edwards... Who? Oh... the guy who wrote The Pink Panther. You know, I've never seen any of those movies. Actually, I've never seen any of his movies at all. That's amazing.

10:15
Bill Murray. Honoring the first female ever nominated for best director.

10:18
Sofia Coppola
Makeup: LOTR (#4)

10:20
Sandra Bullock and John Travolta
Dude... is she wearing a wedding cake?
Sound Mixing: LOTR (#5) Hehehe... can you say "sweep"? *waits patiently* I knew you could!

spaz-cat is trying to climb INSIDE the couch. Knock it off already!

*cheers for the people of New Zealand*

Sound Editing: Master and Commander

"It's now official: there is no one left in New Zealand to thank. I guess they're just gonna start over and double up."

10:27
Julia Roberts. Hm... Katherine Hepburn retrospective? Can I hear it for Aaron Copland?

Wow, how far does this doggie have to go home? How cute are these commercials?

10:37
ooooh... Oprah's dress is preeeeeeeeeeeeeeettty...

John Cusack and Diane somebody...
Documentary Short Subject: Chernobyl Heart

Docmentary Feature: The Fog of War

10:46
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for: but first, the president of the academy.

Excellent- Tiger Woods does Caddyshack. hehehe.
Gah, I hate cadillacs.

10:56
Sting and Phil Collins. Not very much hair on stage right now.
I wanna be in the pit! How cool is that?
Original Score: (oooh, Fellowship theme) LOTR (#6) Fuck yeah, Howard Shore. *bows before her god* aww, his voice is cracking . :) Man, Annie Lennox has a huge mouth. And lots of teeth. She's like a shark.

10:59
Julianne Moore, Pierce Brosnan
Film Editing: LOTR (#7) Can you just imagine how great it must be... They give you the envelope and page to keep. :)

"Do you know that people are MOVING to New Zealand just to be thanked?"

11:02
Jamie Lee Curtis enters to the Halloween theme :)
"A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from A Mighty Wind... Who are Mitch and Mickey? Weird. It's not every day you see an autoharp played on TV. But I'm still not impressed by the song. And yet again I wish I could play the guitar well.
Belleville Rendez-vous... I still wanna see this. There's someone playing a bike! and a vacuum!

Oh dear... Will Ferrell and Jack Black are going to perform a song after the commercials...

11:13
Will Ferrell and Jack Black- the "Your acceptance speech has gone on too long" song hehehe...

and now
Best Original Song: Into the West- LOTR (#8). Was there any doubt?

Oh crap... my "R" key just popped off.... um... help?

11:21
Someone
Best Foreign Language film: The Barbarian Invasion
"We're so thankful that Lord of the Rings didn't qualify in this category."

Cinematography: Master and Commander

11:28
Sofia and Francis Ford Coppola
Adaptation: LOTR (#9)

Woohoo! I just seem to have fixed the R key. Excellent. Woohoo!

11:32
Tobey Maguire just introduced Seabiscuit for best picture.
Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon
Original Screenplay: Lost in Translation

Hey, Timmy. It's your Uncle Marty. How'd you like to turn 5 again?

11:41
Tom Cruise just loped onto the stage.
Director: *crosses fingers* Peter Jackson (#10) *grins and nods knowingly* Seriously, the orchestra must be tired of playing that song. :) ...I just realized... Peter Jackson has hobbit hair. heh. :)

"And, he's wearing shoes."
"Some good news... they found Nemo. Some bad news: he's in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries."

11:45
Some guy... doh....
Leading Actress: (hey, did Diane Keaton dress as Annie Hall on purpose?) Charlize Theron "And I know everyone in New Zealand's been thanked, so I'm gonna thank everyone in South Africa!"

mmm... freshly-brushed teeth. :-D

11:57
Nicole Kidman
Leading Actor: (-You cheated! -*shrug*Pirate.) Sean Penn (Darn)

Happy March.

Can we just give LOTR the last award and go home now?

12:03
Spielberg enters to the strains of Raiders' March to award Best Picture. w00t.
*crosses every finger and toes*
And the Oscar goes to:
It's a clean sweep for LOTR! (#11)
Tying for the most awards with Titanic and Ben Hur!
Heh, of course Jackson has to thank all of New Zealand again. :)

"While we're thanking people, I want to thank all of Long Island. No reason."
"Remember, what happens at the Oscars stays at the Oscars!"

My night is now complete. :)
Almost. No one but me is gonna see this massive 3 and a half hour long entry unless I post it. Hm, that could work. :)