Jess (lieutfaber) wrote,

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my, my, how the seasons do fly

anybody else old remember sue palmer's song at band banquet? [sniff]
anyone else in total denial that tomorrow is the first day of fall? i know i am.

to everyone still at umass:
savor the time while you are there. it gets lonely in the real world where you don't have enforced social time (band). i miss everyone at umass so much... i miss stupid band rehearsals. i miss dehydration on saturday mornings that go from 3 degrees to 6,000,000 outside. i even miss symphony band, so you know it's got to be bad right now. i think that's why i am looking for grad schools right now. i don't think i'm quite ready to go straight out into the real world for good.

i had most of the period to myself today with the eighth grade band. it was kind of scary... but the seventh grade actually behaved worse, if only because Ester (one of my teachers) was out of the room. well, i survived. and i learned that 1) my pacing is too slow (i knew that...) 2) i need to look at the music before i get up to conduct it (didn't know i was going today) and 3) i need to be louder. never thought you'd hear me say that, i know. especially in a restaurant. my parents always yell at me for talking too loudly.

being isolated here in new jersey is making me kind of depressed, i think. i read everyone else's livejournals on a daily basis, and i feel very single and very lonely. i'm 22 years old. all i want is to know that someone is capable of loving me. is that too much to ask?

well, this took an interesting twist... silly emotions... i'm going to stop now before i get any more introspective and people start worrying more.

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    What do you even /do/ when you have two friends who had a fight? I want to remain supportive of /both/ of them and remain neutral, but one of them is…

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    fuck you too, fate. Once again, you went out of your way to say i'm never allowed to be excited for anything or happy at all. thanks. no fuck you.

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    Welp. Made an appointment to talk to my manager tomorrow to get into detaily type things. Happy, davitant? Now stop harassing me. :P

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