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last night i was gonna make a big dramatic post about how odd my day was (just about everything went wrong at work, from having to power to two outlets in the back room to the delivery coming two hours late after i was there at 7:30 AM), but then when i got home i decided that, as funny as it was, it didn't really matter anymore.

yesterday my grandfather went to the hospital to have some tests done. they were looking at some blockage in veins etc. around his heart. never a good way to start an entry, right? test results have proved that he has three blockages (90% or so), as well as a leaky valve (in the one that pumps out freshly oxygenated blood, to boot. so i think about 30% of the freshly oxygenated blood leaks back into the previous chamber. which could explain why he feels so short of breath all the time). so my 86-year-old grandfather (the only one i have ever known) now needs a triple-bypass- open-heart surgery. my mom seems fairly sure that he is going to go through with the procedure, and said that the surgeon said there was a 60-80% chance of nothing bad happening. (do the math yourself) i know that i am lucky as it stands right now to have my grandparents. and i don't want anything to change. my grandmother is always such a pessimist... my mom said she was talking about mopping the basement floor (it's a finished basement) in case she needs it to have a family gathering after the funeral. i think he is far more of a fighter and would never give up that easily. ergo, he wants to have the operation and not just sit around and let nature take its course. the surgeon actually gave him that option today... he is not one of those people who can sit and watch life pass him by... "drivers wanted..." except he worked for chevrolet...

i was watching the history channel today because nothing was on. so of course it was something that was gonna make me all introspective: secrets of the ancient world: heaven and hell. they interviewed a bunch of people about what they thought the afterlife would be like, and they were all so certain about their beliefs. I wish i had something i believed in. as much as i would like there to be an afterlife, etc., i don't know that i CAN believe in it. i guess i am basically just anti-dogma. i remember, in about 4th grade, asking my mother that if adam and eve were the first beings, how do the dinosaurs fit in? i don't like being told that i have to believe in something without proof. i think i am a far more scientific person than i am religious, and i envy those who can balance both. i wish i had something on which to support my life... but i am sure that it isn't catholicism.

on a lighter note:
jeffry: i like best buy. we have a local chain called pc richards. they are always very pushy and try to sell you everything all at once with every single salesman at your throat the whole time. best buy is much better. they will offer help, then leave you alone if you don't want it. they are obviously NOT on commission like pc richards (which i don't think actually has any pcs. hm......)

why lj service has been sketchy lately

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
jenjen3846
Feb. 20th, 2003 09:41 pm (UTC)
Your Grandfather
HI Jess,

My grandfather had the same operation about 4, 5 years ago..except he had 6 blockages..he is doing much better now, however it can be alittle sketchy. If you want to talk about it some more, don't hesitate to ask me :)

Jen
etoilepb
Feb. 22nd, 2003 07:58 am (UTC)
When I was about 5, my parents suddenly had to dump me with relatives and fly to California, because my 70-something grandfather had had a big heart attack and was having quadruple-bypass surgery and it was 1980-something and he wasn't expected to live through the night.

He's 87 now. And although something else is catching up with him now, and I think everyone kind if expects that when I see him for graduation will be the last time I see him alive, the point is, he survived the heart thing. And the other point is, I kinda know how you feel.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )